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Get The Girl is a Tragic Trailer

Do you all remember just a few weeks ago when I wrote an article about what I wanted for entertainment in 2017?

Well, one of our editors dashed my dreams by pointing out this gem of a trailer out to me, for a movie called “Get The Girl”. Just by hearing the title, I’m severely disappointed. But seeing the poster just made me sad.

Privileged looking dude? Check. Submissive Girl? Check. America going backwards about 60 years or so? YEP.

Why does this look like a combination of Pitch Perfect and Suicide Squad? Why? It looks like 2017 is about to betray me, so soon. I had really high hopes, too. But since I am almost masochistic in nature, this 1 ½ minute trailer simultaneously intrigues me- mostly because of just how much tire-fire potential this movie could have.

Let’s take this trailer step-by-step, shall we?

Protagonist (I don’t care enough about his name, and I don’t think the trailer does either) is a “nice guy”, who can’t get the hot bartender woman. This is due to the fact that he dresses like a Ivy League dropout, and isn’t interesting enough for her to pick him out in a crowd, especially since she probably gets hundreds of other patrons per night. But somehow, someway, this guy falls in love with this woman he barely knows. Most likely it’s because he can see her on a regular basis in a forced atmosphere, which provides just enough routine for her to not notice his EXCEEDINGLY creepy stalking in parking garages.

Blah blah blah, this guy is really determined to sweep this bartender off her feet. Sickeningly, his desperation leads to the point of paying for any scrap of attention he can get. And no, I don’t mean a fun date, or even a really impressive tip.

I mean hiring goons (yes, GOONS) to fucking kidnap her. Let’s review: this jar of mayonnaise looking dude with no name uses money to give this woman probably one of the most terrifying experiences of her life. How is this a movie trailer? For a real movie??? I’m tired.

The aforementioned kidnapping occurs, and the best cut together scenes of the movie (in my humble opinion) are featured: Protagonist is pistol-whipped by one of the goons and spit on by this poor woman. They’re only my favorite parts at this point because Protagonist has proven himself to be a Grade A bag of manure. Maybe he actually understands that she detests him after that…or maybe, since this movie is a comedy, it doesn’t matter because it’s not real!  Yay, disillusionment!

Either way, bartender woman gets her shit together and starts to -justifiably- defend herself, possibly killing a few of her kidnappers. Because, well, that is what one definitely should do. Wait until the part where Protagonist tells bartender woman that this is all a ruse, and she (possibly) committed unnecessary homicide! It’ll be great!

There’s about 30 more seconds of people shooting other people (???) in very many directions, a quip, and it’s over.

I just…do not not know how to react to this gar-bahge…besides complete anger and a very strong eye-roll. I asked for better trailers in 2017 and I receive this. Tsk tsk.

Maybe I’m wrong, or way too uptight (probably the latter). Maybe it’s supposed to circumvent all of the nice guy tropes that have cropped up in the last few years, and the trailer is merely meant to lure the Nice Guys and willing masochists in. Maybe bartender woman just kills this guy on accident purpose. Who knows?

To be honest, I might dare myself to see “Get The Girl”….at a $1 theater, 6 months after its release. Or of course, somewhere in the vast internets for free. The second option would be ideal, because as much as I absolutely hate this trailer, I’m still somewhat intrigued. Critiquing every second of it in the comfort of my own home would probably be a great night in.

Let me know what you think, though! Am I being too critical, or is this trailer the hot garbage I think it is?


Image courtesy of Orion Pictures

Author

  • CJ

    Actress, Singer, Writer, and aspiring Jack of all trades. Surviving the insanity that is Florida for 20-something years. Cute but dangerous.

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