HERE WE ARE! It is the absolute last Game of Thrones that we’ll ever have to watch. Finally, a resolution to the absolute tension that’s been building: will Benioff and Weiss (D&D) name it “A Dream of Spring” or “A Song of Ice and Fire”?
You can read our dissection of D&D’s final episode in the Disqus thread below. And of course, grab yourself a CAROL board, available right here. It’s with a heavy heart I say this for the last time: happy shitting!
Our Reactions to the Episode
Kylie
I remember after Lost came to an end, I saw some post on social media like, “I can’t wait to show it all to my kids years from now!” At the time, I was very confused and annoyed. However here…I’m really gonna be shocked if there’s a lot of people that want to show this to anyone now that it’s wound up where it is.
Ramin Djawadi’s “The Children” closing it was a good choice, because that is an awesome track, and if anything is going to make us feel…anything about Arya Magellan, or the Starks all splitting up because the wolf-pack was just Ned being dramatic, or Jon blowing off his vows 2.0, it’d have been that.
Highlight: Sansa being made Queen in the North is an easy highlight in an intellectual way. Not to mention I am clinging to it for the books. But in practice…it was more like a pleasant surprise, that honestly made me feel a little sad. As viewers, we didn’t know a single face in that room (besides possibly Royce…I didn’t glimpse a breastplate), and it was a bit of a letdown. Yeah she gets this position she wants, but she’s complete alone.
Jon petting Ghost was nice. At least some pet gets attention. Also props to the CGI, forreal. Drogon reacting to Dany made me feel way more things than Jon.
I don’t know, I have to pick something. I guess learning that Maester Slughorn finished his thesis and named it “A Song of Ice and Fire” made me scream-laugh. Boy Sam is one with poetry.
Lowlight: It’s really hard to erase the tastelessness that was the first 40 minutes of this episode. As a Jewish viewer, I tend to think Nazi imagery as a cheap shorthand is a wee bit of a problem, and it was only compounded by the fact that we spent our time having every brown character wanting to do more murder, while the white characters looked concerned. And for all they talked about how brutal Dany was for killing in the situations we were meant to cheer, it still doesn’t make the heel-turn make sense, and there’s still no reason why she had to burn people on her way to the Red Keep.
I realize the latter is more of a problem with last week’s episode, but it’s the entire dramatic tension upon which the events of this episode take place.
However, the real lowlight was the pacing. There was maybe 20 minutes of content here. 30 if you want to save some of the stupid broken bell imagery.
Julia
I’m so glad it’s over. So glad. I just kind of feel sorry for the accounting guys at HBO after they lose most of their subscriptions tomorrow. I predict that in two week, 95% of people will forget this show ever existed.
Also, I totally called Prince of Dorne being an extra. And I’m relieved.
Anyway, that was terrible. It was dumb and boring and nothing was earned except Sansa being queen. Which should have happened two years ago.
Highlight: The fact that it’s over? Okay, fine. Um, I liked Arya’s new bun at the end? I drew pleasure from the fact that Saint Tyrion is SO awesome that he can control the conversation even when in literal chains. No, I’m sorry, I don’t think I enjoyed a single moment outside the whole Northern Independence thing. And that was so throw away I can’t really give them credit.
Also, Tyrion, just make the Riverlands a Kingdom and you can call it the Seven Kingdoms again.
Lowlight: There were many things to choose from this episode. There was the super-subtle Nazi imagery with Dany at the beginning which was so… basic; there were the endless shots of Tyrion walking places; the man-pain based death of Dany and the retconning of her entire career; the firm placement of Saint Tyrion on the pedestal of perfection… but the scene that really got me was the last council scene. Just… they ended with Tyrion’s stupid story about a donkey and a honeycomb? They really think they gave us eight seasons of brilliant wit, profound philosophy, and wonderful political maneuverings don’t they? When actually, all they have is a bunch of assholes making bad jokes at each other and being obsessed with their own cleverness.
At least I never have to hear Bronn talking about brothels ever again.
Caroline
I have never been so happy for something to be over in my life. Both this episode and this terrible show. This episode DRAGGED and obviously should have been 2-3 episodes instead of one. And watching this show end in such a ball of shenanigans is actually depressing. I used to love this show. Why does it suck so much now? (hint: the answer is sexism).
Highlight: There were a few discrete (read: blink and you’ll miss it) moments I enjoyed. Floor map! Always holding it down. Davos! I appreciate his ability to recognize how ridiculous his voting for the “king” was. The embroidery inside the sleeves of Sansa’s coronation dress! I’m here for weirwood symbols. That is probably one of my favorite outfits of the series – good job guys!
I also liked when Dany approached and touched the iron throne. The music was good, the atmosphere was good, and I was able to project book expectations onto that. As a staunch Targaryen loyalist, that’s what I like to see. Even if I knew exactly what was coming next.
Lowlight: Ignoring the “A Song of Ice and Fire” book being about the wars following King Robert’s death and the fact that Tyrion isn’t mentioned in them (which may be meta commentary based on the Tyrion we have in the show, I’m not sure) — my lowlight was the continuous fellating of Saint Tyrion by literally every character and the plot. I mean, everything was driven by him. Jon killed Daenerys because of his suggestion. They literally founded a new form of government based on his suggestion. He’s just SO GOOD he gets to be hand of the king AGAIN. I. Cannot. Even.
Honorable mention to the council scene with its 6 guys and 1 woman. Women on top yo!
Also question: everyone else in Westeros gets to have an elected king, except the North which is stuck on hereditary monarchy now? Also, how do the Dornish feel about this election process?
Looking forward to ranting about this for the rest of my life… I hope show-only watchers realize how incredibly terrible that all was. Wow. D&D letting me down one last time!
