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Legends of Tomorrow’s Gay Old Time With Pirates

We start up with the infamous Blackbeard circa 1717 as he lands on an island to bury his valued treasure chest. In order to keep his crew in the dark, he decided to give the most valuable piece he had, an emerald necklace, to his lady in command. As soon as the lady puts the necklace on, something starts going awry and some really poorly CGI vines rise from the ground and constrict her, much to the pirate’s terror.

Now aboard the Waverider, as Ray puts it nicely, “the hunt for the six totems has begun” because the Legends will need all of them to defeat Mallus and they only have two while Damien Darhk has one, leaving them with the trouble of locating the Fire and the Earth totems alongside the mystery one. They were able to locate the Fire one with Adam McCallister, Mari McCabe/Vixen’s boyfriend in Detroit, 2018.

As the team embarks to Detroit, Sara has a date with Ava Sharpe, in Star City, which starts a bit awkward, but the two decide to keep things lighthearted by avoiding any time-travel nonsense. Ray and Mick return from Detroit with the bad news that Damien Darhk had beat them to it. Meanwhile, Nate finds out more about the Earth totem and how it was with Blackbeard back in 1717. Wanting to make Sara proud, the Legends decide to go over there without consulting their captain.

As they wait for any signs of Blackbeard at a bar, Maya confides in Mick that she is tempted with desire to change Kuasa’s life, but she also knows that this may cause horrid consequences to other people besides being indecisive on how to handle her feelings for Nate, knowing she will have to go back to 1942 eventually. Mick’s advice is basically “be a pirate”, which is less than helpful to her.

While sharing an embarrassing story that involves musicals and tap dancing—because of course it does—, Sara receives a call from the snitch, Gideon, telling her about the Legends’ secret mission. However, instead of storming off, Sara decides to keep it together for the sake of her date and a valid attempt at being normal.

Mick starts telling stories about The Dreadful Captain Jiwe out loud and they spread like wildfire until reaching Blackbeard’s ears. Amaya makes a scene in order to prove how dreadful she is and gains Blackbeard’s respect. Nate and Ray return to the Waverider which starts glitching and ultimately shutting down because, guess what, they parked at the Bermuda Triangle… and the Waverider is a ship… sorry, but that was genius and I laughed for a whole minute.

Amaya inquires Blackbeard about where he had buried the necklace, but before anything else can happen. Damien and Eleanor materialize at the bar, getting the upper hand on the two Legends and quickly extracting not only the whereabouts of the totem from the pirate, but also Amaya’s one. The other pirates try to execute Blackbeard and co., but Amaya and Mick band together against the locals. Additionally, the Darhks start firing cannonballs at the Waverider, forcing them to evacuate.

The other sideplots start kicking in right about now: earlier we also picked up on Rip Hunter and Wally West. As the speedster ran away for some peace and tranquility and far from his hurt feelings as an ex-boyfriend and a Team-Flash-Member-But-Not-Really, Rip asked him for a small favor: steal the Agent Gary’s time courier. Gary runs to tell Ava about it just as the Waverider crashes at Star City, making Sara dump the date abruptly.

After failing to enlist Blackbeard for help, Amaya goes back to the bar to get a crew to sail and reap Blackbeard’s treasures, but the pirate ends up returning and joining everyone on the Dreadful Pirate Queen Jiwe’s Expedition to Grace Island. As the Darhks had already started to dig up the treasure, we see that after the necklace started taking over Blackbeard’s former queen’s evil nature, the man shot her in the face, turning her into an undead monster under the force of the totem.

Ava arrives at the Waverider and starts arguing with Sara which gives Nate a breach to take a time courier to Grace Island along with Ray and his nanite gun. Sara tells Ava that she can’t simply be normal, but that’s not what Ava wants Sara to be; long story short, they kiss and we all start screaming “YAY” at the screen.

When Jiwe’s crew arrives at the treasure scene, the possessed lady had wreaked havoc on the Darhk’s people. As Nate and Ray arrive on the scene using the courier, Blackbeard and some of his men escape as use the portal to board the Waverider under the assumption that they will take over the ship; sadly for them, they interrupted Sara and Ava’s kiss so, quite obviously, the pirates could not hold a candle to the ladies’ fighting skills — after all, gay culture is punching and kicking pirates when they try to commandeer your time machine.

Amaya tries her best to talk to the possessed queen, but Damien uses the cue to break her neck. As Nora starts killing Amaya, Ray arrives and shoots her with his nanite weapon, leaving her to die on her dad’s arms, but only after retrieving the Earth Totem.

The new experience of not having her totem anymore, Amaya feels more confident on herself to deal with the Nate problem which means the two get back together, at least for now. It seems to be a good night for Legendary Love  as Ava and Sara patch things up with some rum and gay sex. As they get back to China from a night of frolicking & karaokeing, Rip Hunter tells Wally that he should join the Legends as someone looking for a place to belong to.

Finally, feeling guilty about killing Nora, Ray takes a ship back to Grace Island. He promises Damien to cure Nora in exchange for Amaya’s totem which works, but as soon as Nora is back she uses her powers on Ray. Before he dies, Damien stops her, envisioning future prospects in keeping a Legend alive.


Images Courtesy of the CW 

Author

  • Matthew

    Matthew is a 20-year-old sucker for the superhero/fantasy, crime, and queer genres. He is doing his best to become a forensic scientist, but, alas, he gets easily distracted with how much great TV is being produced right now.

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