Last season, we saw Rebecca finally marrying Josh Chan, the man of her dreams…Only for him to leave her at the altar to become a priest.
Yikes, I know.
Rebecca and her girl group (Paula, Heather, and Valencia) vowed that they would make Josh pay for what he did. If only they could find Rebecca in the days following the wedding disaster. She hasn’t been seen or heard from in the two weeks following, and her coworkers even got the #WheresRebeccaBunch hashtag trending locally on Twitter. Everyone runs to Paula for answers, hoping that, as her best friend, she knows that Rebecca is safe and okay. Unfortunately the only thing she has to go on is a “like” on her Ice Bucket Challenge video from three years ago.
We get the first song of the season, which is glorious. Everyone is in a medieval version of West Covina, and carrying on their daily tasks as they ponder where Rebecca has gone. We are gifted the beautiful line: “The whole town is a-twitter, since the whole town is on Twitter,” as all friends and coworkers ponder her disappearance. In the middle of the fantasy sequence, they pan over to Rebecca, who’s been staying at a hotel mourning her relationship and spiraling into a depressive episode.
But, she seems to have inspiration strike, as she leaves the room (in a bathrobe, “Bride” beanie, and slippers. Iconic.) to get Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct on DVD, plus dark makeup and dark hair dye. She’s going to transform herself, be free of her sadness cocoon, and go through with her plan to “destroy” Josh at whatever cost.
Meanwhile, Paula and her husband Scott are on better terms after his infidelity. He has to check in when he gets home and take lie detector tests so she can try and trust him again. His trials are almost over, and only has one more test to pass before he can stop sleeping on the couch and be back in bed with her. Paula panics a little bit, because she doesn’t know if she’s ready for that.
Scott does pass the test, and in his very first night back in their bed, they have sex, but with one condition: he has to call her Tanya (the woman he cheated with). It freaks both of them out, but Paula didn’t know what else to do. She wanted to know that her husband was over this woman, and that they can hopefully get back on track.
Rebecca makes her big return by inviting the office staff to an “Insidious Meeting,” where she reveals her new look (“I know, my hair is dark so I look evil, but I’m wearing a white dress which is ironic!”), and wants to let everyone know she’s ready to move on. Nathaniel isn’t having any more of her drama, and gets everyone out of the office so he can have a word with her. He tries to discuss work, but Rebecca gets under his skin and pokes fun at him for caring about her and being worried.
She reins in the girl group, letting them know that her Big Plan to get back at Josh is…poop. Mail him her poop and disguise it in cupcakes for him to eat, because he’s a giant piece of It.
Solid plan, clearly.
Paula, Valencia, and Heather want to let Rebecca exact her revenge, just not in this way. They try to come up with a new, less gross, plan. Which doesn’t work out either, because the back up plan is to stage a fake sex tape with a guy who looks just like Josh, then send it to Josh and see that she’s moved on.
In less gross news, White Josh (WhiJo) is trying to market the ant laced protein bars he’s been working on for years. Supportive Boyfriend Daryl encourages him, but keeps getting derailed by bringing up babies and them starting a family. WhiJo is annoyed at the constant nudging, and Daryl believes they should try couples counseling to get on the same page. They’re a decent model for a well-functioning relationship. Booth of them admit that they each have faults. And, while they each have different goals, they talk it through and work on it together.
Rebecca goes on with the fake sex tape plan, with the girls trying to support her, but quietly trying to find a way to get her to stop before she embarrasses herself. They hold auditions at her house, and find a guy that could basically be Josh’s twin brother. Oh my gosh, this scene was priceless. I mean, just look at him:
Rebecca is won over immediately and books him for the faux sex tape job. As she heads out to the porch to let the other actors know they’re not needed, Nathaniel just happens to be running in the neighborhood and wanted to check in on her. She knows that he still has feelings for her, but since she has zero interest in him now that she’s a new woman, he should just stop. But the banana in his pants has other plans.
The fake sex tape is ready to be filmed, and the girls are still trying to find a way to stop Rebecca before she regrets it. She comes out of her room naked and ready, and suggesting that she and Fake Josh should just go ahead and have sex for real, just to make it look authentic. And that’s the last straw; Paula halts the idea right then and there.
She gives Rebecca a combination mom-and-best-friend lecture, saying she doesn’t need to hurt herself in order to hurt Josh. In a heartbreaking moment, Rebecca admits that she wants to hurt herself, that she deserves the pain and embarrassment because she doesn’t care anymore. All along, the girls were gently trying to encourage Rebecca to try and get back to normal, but they didn’t think her plans were the best. She just has to be herself, be strong, and find another way to be at peace with Josh.
Paula says “We’re going to help you take down Josh, but we’re not going to let you take down yourself at the same time.” It’s a heartwarming, very girl power kind of line, which is the heart of these characters.
We are then gifted with the beautiful song “Let’s Generalize About Men,” with the girls decked in 80’s glam and singing about how terrible men are. Yes, all 3.6 billion of them. “Let’s take one bad thing about one bad man, and apply it to all of them.” The girls are drinking, wallowing, and talking about how poorly men have treated them. It’s a complete delight and has already made it’s way into my top 5 songs of the series so far.
Drunk off wine, the girls decide that the Ultimate Plan would be to sue Josh. One, for ruining Valencia’s wedding planning business, and two, for the emotional distress and financial ruin he put Rebecca through. It may not work as well as they hope, but hey, it’s better than poop cupcakes. Speaking of which, in a last-minute reveal, we see Rebecca sending Josh the cupcakes anyway, as she laughs maniacally. Oh well!
The season is off to a fantastic start, and I for one am excited for the girl group to continue to be the forefront of the show!
